By: Vanessa Wishon
“Please, mommy, please!” a small voice pleads.
“What is it, darling?” I ask.
“Please, mommy, please!” the small voice pleads again.
This is a reflection of the many conversations shared between my daughter and me. She, in all her “two-ness”, wants me to correct or help with something that she cannot fully vocalize. This repeated conversation presents a lot of frustration for me. It's not frustrating because I'm unable to fix the problem for her; it's frustrating because I don't know what the problem is because she's unable to tell me in a way I fully understand. As a parent I want to be there to help my child in any way that I can.
He Considers Me
Lately, I find myself pondering these conversations with my toddler and comparing it to my relationship with our Heavenly Father. This morning, as my heart aches for something I cannot quite vocalize, I recognize how often I am like my daughter in my relationship with Him. Unlike the conversations I share with my daughter, I realize that God knows what is on my heart before I can form the words to say it myself! Psalm 139:16 says “You read my heart like an open book and you know all the words I’m about to speak before I even start a sentence.” This kind of intimate knowledge simply floors me. Who am I that He considers me?
He Calls Me His
My daughter will never know me to that level of intimacy, but I pray that she knows that I will always be there for her. I hope she will learn from my strengths and over time see how I navigate my flaws and weaknesses. Some days she may see me at the top of life’s heights and other days she may see how I cope when I struggle, as all humans are prone to do. My desire for our relationship is that she will give grace and love me exceptionally through it all, just as I love her unconditionally.
God has already seen all of it. He sees all of my flaws, starting from my biggest mess-ups to my smallest indiscretions and He covers me in His forgiveness and grace. He also rejoices in my brightest moments. He knows my capabilities and He knows my inadequacies. He knows the ways I serve in secret and He knows the times that I allow pride to stop myself from sharing what I have to give. Through it all He calls me His. He calls me His and you, my friend, are His as well.
You Are His
Today, if you find yourself in a place of hardship (a hospital room, a waiting room, a funeral home, a crowded room that feels alone, or sitting in frustration with your child), I want to remind you that God knows where you are and considers you. He sees you. He loves you. You are His.
Vanessa lives in GA where she and her husband, Rodney, have the joy of raising their two biological previously preemies and one bonus child while missing their daughter who lives in Heaven. She lives an ordinary life while serving an extraordinary God.