By: Katie Phillips
Spring is coming. A tangible sign every year of the change of seasons. No season lasts forever, even when they feel like they do when you are in the messy middle of them.
I’m coming up on the one-year anniversary of my hospital stay and emergency c-section due to severe preeclampsia, which led to our daughter being delivered at barely 28 weeks. She was 2 lbs, 4 oz. She finally came home from the hospital 133 days later on supplemental oxygen. She is now crawling everywhere, getting into everything, charming everyone with her smiles and giggles. Every day I’m grateful for the gift of having her healthy and thriving.
Beeping Echoes in My Ears
But I remember well those long days working and then spending the evening at the hospital. I remember the beeping echoing in my ears even when I wasn’t there. I remember watching her sleep via a little camera at 3:00am, crying and praying while I pumped, my heart longing to breastfeed my baby like I had always wanted to do. I remember having conversations with doctors and nurses that I could never have imagined I’d have to have about my baby. I remember watching her struggle to breathe, and get worse and worse, until she finally hit 8 lbs and turned an invisible corner at the last possible moment.
Jesus Will Carry You Through
I know not every story will have as happy an ending as mine. But I also know that Jesus will be with you every step and He will carry you through impossible things. I know that prayer really does make all the difference. I know that patience is excruciating, but it really is the only way forward. I know you’re not alone and people want to help if you ask. I know you can do this with God’s help because he gave this baby/babies to you. Big hugs and just keep swimming.
Katie is a writer, editor, and author coach for women writing sci-fi and fantasy. She lives in Kansas with her husband, daughter, and houseplant collection.